Here's the entry by Guybrush Threepwood's long-lost twin, also known as Will Turner. :p Enjoy!

( All about Will Turner )

NAME: Ragetti and Pintel.

LIVING ARRANGEMENT: On board the Black Pearl, the two hammocks next to gun number two on the larboard side. It’s next to the pigs and goats, but they’ve grown accustomed to the smell.

FAVORITE PASTIME: Arguing, chasing Ragetti’s wooden eye and did I mention arguing?

FAVORITE BOOK: Ragetti: The Bible in Pictures. Pintel: Another book with pictures in it, but of a different nature…nudge nudge wink wink!

THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD IS: Pintel, tell him how we were in Tortuga and had this huge big – (Pintel smacks Ragetti on the back of the head) Shut up! I’M doing this questionnaire!

THE WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD IS: Having to shove Jack Sparrow along the plank, but only because he insisted on turning back five times because he had forgotten his stupid hat, his effects, his Anne Bonney and Mary Read poster, his collection of rum mugs and his “My Little Pirate Ship” set!

FAVORITE SMELLS: The sweet, proliferous bouquet that is Tortuga…

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK WHEN YOU WAKE IN THE MORNING: Ragetti: Where’s me eye! Pintel: Must…smack…Ragetti…must…smack…Ragetti…

FAVORITE FOODS: Ship’s biscuits without a single maggot in them. Ah, the luxury!

CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA: Are those the two new girls that came to Tortuga last month? Well, we haven’t had the opportunity to get to know either of them, so we really can’t tell!

STORMS, COOL OR SCARY: Cool – almost as much fun as taking a walk on the seabed, at least until that stupid idiot Ragetti loses his eye again!

FAVORITE DRINK: We’re sailors, poppet – what do you think we’d like to drink?

IF YOU COULD CHANGE ANYTHING ABOUT THE WORLD, WHAT WOULD IT BE: It would be great if people had more respect and appreciation for smelly, grubby pirates!

IF YOU COULD CHANGE ANYTHING ABOUT YOURSELF, WHAT WOULD IT BE: Unlimited credit at the Boozy Turtle Bar in Tortuga would be nice!

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE: No. We don’t have time for that, being a pirate, cursed or not, is a full-time job!

IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL: Half full, but it gets empty pretty quickly when we’re around! (Ragetti sings “Drink up, me hearties, yo-ho”, gets smacked by Pintel and scrabbles off after his eye.)

WHAT'S IN YOUR ANXIETY CLOSET: Closet? We have a sea chest, and you don’t want to know what’s in there, poppet, as it might cause you some anxiety…

WHAT'S YOUR LOFTIEST DREAM: Having our own ship. But, alas, we argue too much, so it would never work. (Ragetti is thinking of making a remark about irony, but a throbbing pain in the back of his head reminds him that shutting up can be a very good idea at times.)

WHAT'S YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE: Soap, water, nail clippers, combs and clean clothes. Eeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwww.

WHAT DO YOU WISH PEOPLE KNEW ABOUT YOU THAT YOU FEEL THEY DON'T: We have a heart of gold, we really have…somewhere down under all that dirt…

Current Mood: sleepy

First from a series of "Get to know your friends" emails I made up for PoTC characters...


NAME: Ana Maria

LIVING ARRANGEMENT: In the hammock near the hatchway, the one that has “Keep off or you’ll get slapped repeatedly” embroidered on both sides.

FAVORITE PASTIME: Giving Jack Sparrow dirty looks and slapping him, and knitting Jolly Rogers in various designs and colours.

FAVORITE BOOK: “Good Girls Get To Heaven, Bad Girls Get Everywhere” by Anne Bonney and Mary Read.

THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD IS: Sailing your brand-new boat for the first time.

THE WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD IS: Hearing that the title of “Miss Tortuga” you had so hoped to win was snatched by that Bonney wench, and not being able to blame Jack Sparrow for that!

FAVORITE SMELLS: My boat, which is now in Davy Jones’ locker, thanks to that idiot Sparrow. Sniff. If I get my hands on him, I’ll “snip snip” HIM!!!

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK WHEN YOU WAKE IN THE MORNING: SPARROW!!!! What have you done while I was asleep to deserve another slap or two?

FAVORITE FOODS: Salt pork. Not salt long pork, of course, especially NOT when it comes with lots of exotic fruits and wears more make-up than even Scarlett and Giselle!

CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA: Chocolate, as it helps me to calm down when I find out that a certain pirate who walks like a girl has sunk my boat!

STORMS, COOL OR SCARY: Cool. I’m not scared easily, I prefer scaring others. Like Jack Sparrow for example – at least he admits that he’s deserved it!!!

FAVORITE DRINK: That’s a very silly question to ask a pirate, don’t you think? Why don’t you tell me that you want to be slapped right away?

IF YOU COULD CHANGE ANYTHING ABOUT THE WORLD, WHAT WOULD IT BE: It would be nice if all boats came with a kind of boat immobilizer, meaning that nobody but their rightful owner could sail away with them. What do you mean I’m obsessed? I’m not, I’m focused!!!

IF YOU COULD CHANGE ANYTHING ABOUT YOURSELF, WHAT WOULD IT BE: I would like to be able to control my temper so when I finally DO meet the pirate of my dreams, I don’t knock him out and ruin everything from the start!

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE: No, not yet. I’m a hard-working pirate, so I don’t have much time for that kind of thing.

IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL: Half full. I wish that skinflint of an innkeeper would fill them up all the way to the top, for the same price!

WHAT'S IN YOUR ANXIETY CLOSET: Getting cabin fever while lying in the doldrums and behaving like a complete idiot while wearing a sparkly bikini!

WHAT'S YOUR LOFTIEST DREAM: Winning that expensive brace of silver-plated pistols that’s the first price in the Tortuga Pirate Pub Quiz…

WHAT'S YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE: Having that nasty Jack Sparrow steal my nice new boat and sink it like he did the last one!

WHAT DO YOU WISH PEOPLE KNEW ABOUT YOU THAT YOU FEEL THEY DON'T: I’m not always a shrew, I can be quite nice actually…sometimes…like that time when I got knocked out by a piece of yardarm and had a very nasty concussion…

Current Mood: content
Current Music: The Last Saskatchewan Pirate